What not to wear…!

Author: reality  //  Category: comedy, reality

Obviously it’s WINTER BOOTS! It’s Chicago - it’s 2 flipping degrees, and the snow is about to fly! I know that because my  husband has called me 4 times today with the weather update.  I didn’t know I married Jerry Taft!

I have an old pair of Sorel boots, they are big, bulky and beginning to leak, not fun for the footies when it’s 2 degree’s out.  My shoe shopping venture started the week after Thanksgiving, realizing perhaps the Black Friday Shoppers cleaned out the stores, I went back out looking for winter boots.  Remember, it’s going to snow for the love of god and trust me, I know there is a beach chair with my name on it somewhere south of the equator, getting there is another story.

So, when is the first day of Winter? Did they change it? I thought it was December 21st, if I’m wrong, I guess I missed that email.  WHY in Chicago, with winter not even having breathed down our necks for a month, you can’t find any winter boots?

Are they all buried with Frank Zappa?

Dreamed I was an Eskimo 

(Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop Ta-da-da)

Frozen wind began to blow 

(Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop Ta-da-da)

Under my boots 'n around my toe  - UNDER MY BOOTS.. WHAT BOOTS MR. Zappa -
you obviously never visited any of the Chicago Suburbs Stores before winter hit? 

Target, Kohls, Famous Footwear, Kmart, Marshalls & TJ Maxx, all in a row, holy crap,
you can almost drive from town to town in the shopping center parking lots..
scary when your brother..aka Jesus is always correct - more on that
some other day.. 

I'm bootless on my journey..wait..one last stop.. Payless -
had one pair of Thinsulate Boots left.. I didn't care what size
they were, my dogs were gonna fit in them.. 

Now I just gotta find a way to get the circulation in my feet back!
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