Reality TV Burnout

I’ve noticed there are several web sites that will give you a list of Reality TV Series currently casting.  By the look of these new potential shows, they remind me of some Jerry Springer episodes.  Here are a few I spotted:  Settle Your Argument UFC Style, a show for those who cannot work out their problems in a civil manner.  This show would have you “duke” it out in a ring after being trained by a professional.  Perhaps they should cross-blend with this show that is also casting, Splitsville, a show about divorcing couples.  What will they come up with next?  I have a few suggestions to come in future blogs.  My mind is reeling in new show ideas.  All I need is a producer…….. 

Oprah has entered the Reality TV arena.  According to reports, her new Reality TV Series will feature 10 people that will be challenged to take the money and resources they are given and multiply them to come up with the most powerful, sensational, emotional and dramatic ways to give to others.   A feel good, inspiring show.  I like the concept.  Does anyone remember Percy Ross?  He had a column in the paper many years ago called Thanks a Million.  He was a philanthropist who would accept letters from readers who asked for things they could not afford and Percy would be the judge filling those requests based upon their letter/need.  Could you see a Reality series starring this older wealthy and wise man?  I would tune in.  The requests of Percy’s readers were generally minimal but some were quite comical.  I remember most people asking for the basics; a mattress, new shoes, glasses.  I was a faithful reader of his.  He actually gave his entire fortune away.   Here is a quote by Percy I always found inspiring (anyone who knows me knows that I am a quote freak):  “The American Dream is being able to pursue anything you want, without restrictions or limitation, but in keeping with the law, that fills your passion for life. The advice I would give to someone chasing after his or her dream is to never, ever give up. That may sound trite, but it is the single-most factor that allowed me to achieve my dreams.  Call it tenacity or perseverance, the end result is the same.”  Percy Ross    Hey, I wonder if there is a Percy Ross fan club?  Anyone? 

Lost needs an Extreme Makeover - get off the island..yeah, get off the bus too! It reminds me of Speed, not much happens unless you are going 55!   I am lost, why the flashbacks, keep us in present day and stop the dr. freud or dr. phil, whichever you may have more respect for, I’d pick freud, he did appear with Bill & Ted and must have some sort of reputation!

I love Kate, I really do, what a beauty, Sawyer too, wouldn’t throw him out of a bed of crackers,  who wouldnt fall for the bad boy.. if Sawyer came to my door, I would buy what he is selling, but on the other hand, there is Jack, and he is pretty convincing.  Still and all, gotta go with the attitude.

I tried, I really did to catch up, but nothing has happened, is the Sun still pregnant? Why isn’t she showing yet, its been a few months..oh yeah, the writers strike.!  What really happened to Michael, has he ended up in the attic of All My Childrens Past? With the Martin kid? What was his name anyhow..and why has no one questioned where he is at?

Enter the ship - The Black Rock? Where did it originate from, anyone know? Did it hold those hot pirates from the South Shore Marauders? (Hello Mark & Annie) Is Jeffery Rush going to pop out of the hull and transform into a dead ringer for Jeremy Irons, anything is possible in reality tv !

If you are suffering reality tv burnout, may I suggest to you to check out some stoner one liners!

Mythbusters…… who doesn’t love a mystery solved?  I actually caused a debate at work about one of the Mythbuster shows.  It was raining out and fellow co-workers were huddling by the door ready to run to their cars and I mentioned that on the show, I heard that they found if you walked in the rain, you would get less wet than if you ran in the rain.  It caused quite the stir.  Two of the men in the group laughed and said, “hey, let’s find out”.  Both stood at the door as they readied to race.  The first one jockied up to the door and the other one shouted, “go!”  The first out the door was the only out the door and the second man held the door closed so that he could not return to the dry building.  So much for that myth being busted.  Made for a good laugh on a rainy evening.   

Do you walk the halls of your office waiting to hear from your friends what they thought about Gene Simmons being canned?

Which by the way, is total marketing ploy.  On whose part, I am not quite sure at the moment.  But if you have not read Gene Simmons, Sex, Money Kiss, you should, and you would understand the genius behind this man.

If you are staying up late, to watch all the reality tv shows that you have taped, and you can not function with out your dose of Brett Michaels - Rock of Love, you need to get yourself a signed up for E-Harmony! 

If the driving force in your love life is the latest Bachlor, you should look into ask men! Chuck Woolery may have an opening, and it’s in a bit better taste than skinny girls duking it out over one guy that most likely will introduce them to momma, and she will throw them under the train after all the dough from the show comes rolling in.

Reality TV Syndrome, as REO Speedwagon would say,  get yourself together, keep everybody warm, and keep riding the storm out! They may come up for a drug that will help!

Do you have any of the following symptoms?  Are you unable to communicate with your family because, “my show is on!”  You get in trouble in your office because you can’t stop comparing notes about the people who got kicked off of last night’s Dancing with the Stars show and how unfair it was.  You sweat with each and every “elimination” round.  Potato chips are a staple in your Reality TV diet.  You buy every magazine on the newstand to see if there are any real-life hookups from your favorite Reality shows.   Or finally, you cherish January because American Idol is back on the air.  You may have Reality TV Burnout.  Don’t worry.  We can help.  Vent, browse — just let it out.  We all may have had enough.  Take back your life.  We know you can do it.  Quoting our sweater friend, Fred Rogers, “Sure, I knew you could”.

The first redhead to check in this morning! Flipping channels last night, I run across - How to look good naked?

I live in Chicago, naked today is really not an option!  The temperature is a whopping 3 degrees, pieces and parts would start to fall off and disintegrate.  Running through my mind this morning are images of Wesley Snipes character, Simon Phoenix from Demolition Man as he disintegrated while in a cryogenic freeze.

Take out the cold for a moment, if we want to look good naked, and quite honestly if we do look good naked we are most likely in the minority here, but if that’s the case, go for it, there are plenty of nude beaches out there. 

Naked Schmaked, if thats what you are concerned about, be concerned about it in your own home! It’s not necessary that we all see the chicken skin!