Obviously it’s WINTER BOOTS! It’s Chicago - it’s 2 flipping degrees, and the snow is about to fly! I know that because my  husband has called me 4 times today with the weather update.  I didn’t know I married Jerry Taft!

I have an old pair of Sorel boots, they are big, bulky and beginning to leak, not fun for the footies when it’s 2 degree’s out.  My shoe shopping venture started the week after Thanksgiving, realizing perhaps the Black Friday Shoppers cleaned out the stores, I went back out looking for winter boots.  Remember, it’s going to snow for the love of god and trust me, I know there is a beach chair with my name on it somewhere south of the equator, getting there is another story.

So, when is the first day of Winter? Did they change it? I thought it was December 21st, if I’m wrong, I guess I missed that email.  WHY in Chicago, with winter not even having breathed down our necks for a month, you can’t find any winter boots?

Are they all buried with Frank Zappa?

Dreamed I was an Eskimo 

(Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop Ta-da-da)

Frozen wind began to blow 

(Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop Ta-da-da)

Under my boots 'n around my toe  - UNDER MY BOOTS.. WHAT BOOTS MR. Zappa -
you obviously never visited any of the Chicago Suburbs Stores before winter hit? 

Target, Kohls, Famous Footwear, Kmart, Marshalls & TJ Maxx, all in a row, holy crap,
you can almost drive from town to town in the shopping center parking lots..
scary when your brother..aka Jesus is always correct - more on that
some other day.. 

I'm bootless on my journey..wait..one last stop.. Payless -
had one pair of Thinsulate Boots left.. I didn't care what size
they were, my dogs were gonna fit in them.. 

Now I just gotta find a way to get the circulation in my feet back!

What would happen if House met -Boston Legal’s Denny Crane?

Can you imagine how that conversation would go? Would the paintball guns be pulled out or would Gregory House just hit Denny in the head with his cane - which by the way - Hugh Laurie does not limp in real life.  You can see his crazy antics as well on Black Adder.

Where he plays the character of Lieutenant The Honourable George Colthurst St. Barleigh, I can see Dr. House now talking to Denny about the woman in his life -who would be able to one up the other? Would House win or would Denny?

Dr. House: the fact that the sexual pleasure center of your cerebral cortex has been over-stimulated by spirochetes is a poor basis for a relationship. Learned that one the hard way

Denny Crane: I have an erection. That’s a good sign. I’m ready to go to trial. Lock and load.

Would they talk over each other or at each other or would they make good drinking buddies?

I swear those little mucus guys had taken up residence in my chest and I decided to put down the remote, stop flipping channels and make my way to the Doctor’s Office - Snot’s Running down My Nose - Thanks Jethro Tull

I am shivering and cold and it didn’t help that the wind was whipping and the snow and ice were pelting the windows as I drove to my local pharmacy - there I wandered the isles, trying to pass the time.  The mucus colony didn’t stop me from shopping, but the used up kleenex was wearing thin.

I noticed a little old geezer - I am a fan of old people, they really have a lot to offer us.  But, he in true form was a geezer, looking more lost than I was from the NyQuil hangover and the little old snotties playing havoc in my chest, I watched him walk up and down the isle of cold cures, vitamins and medical miracles.  (Don’t waste your time on ColdEze - it’s a glorified drawing chalk.

I watched him for 15 minute’s up and down the same isle, I finally asked him if he needed some assistance, you know, help out the elderly, respect your elders.  When he said to me in a Whiskey laden Voice similar to a country western star that spent his night’s in the baroom - “Yes, Sweetie, I need to find the NyQuil” Ahhh, speaking my language, anything that will knock me out is my friend, and I was quite familiar with where to find the Nighty-Nighty Med’s - I bent over and was about to pick up the bottle from the bottom shelf..

In true Geezer form…. when out of his mouth came such chatter…truly now, what does it matter…

“Nice - Ass”

Not realizing until the fog lifted from my own hangover there are really people who may drink this stuff just for the buzz.. wow..

NyQuil, The Old Geezer and My Ass!

Went to our “county seat” on Saturday - Waukegan, Illinois - it’s a seat for sure, not sure which toilet it came off of, even though it’s actually improved the experience in dining is one for the books.You can’t always get what you want.. but you can try sometimes.. we tried… to no avail

I printed out my little sheets of area restaurants, assured by my better half there was a restaurant right across the street from the Genesee Theater, gorgeous old place, a must see actually. Well needless to say, Jacks Restaurant is opening in Summer of 2008, and it was the last day of summer, and it was not open.

Pull out the stack of papers from my pocketbook and head over past Washington Street, to Bistro 17, well.. closed for remodeling.  We decided we would back track it, over to Opera Pub or something of the name, all we cared it said, Grill & Bar.. well, what part of Grill is it when they don’t serve food.

“Frozen Pizza, all we got” we got on out of there, it felt as if we were un welcome.

Back down the street to Fong’s - Chinese, I can handle that and a beer.  Ron White goes on at 7:00 we are 2 minutes from the theater and it’s now 10 minutes to 6, plenty of time. Well, understaffed and misunderstood!

Comedy routine waiting to happen, we order, start eating the appetizers, that mind you - were not ours, only did we realize that half way through. My son & husband got their food at 6:20, our friend John got his at 6:30,  he realized it wasn’t what he ordered either.. oh well, keep eating John, they may take it away..

Mine came at 6:40, I ordered Chicken Fried Rice, the rice was not fried, it did have Chicken, as well as Shrimp & Steak.. here sat our dear friend Linda, no food in front her, longing to eat, it was than, I had to wonder, are we part of Candid Camera, is this a bad reality show? As 6:45 approached, the waitress came over to Linda, with crab rangoon, not what she ordered, out of the mouth came…..

“Chicken Screwers take-A  too lonnnng, you eat-A somethi’ else!”Set the plate down & walked away.. lights, camera..Hello Waukegan!

Ron White Kicked Ass!